Motherhood

No I'm not saying Motherhood in a way that I'm going to be a mother <- the thought of being a mother gives me chills.

I'm saying Motherhood as in, the relationship between my mom and I. (btw my mom just screamed at me "I WANT TO STAY AT HOME QUIETLY FOR ONCE", after I came back from shopping (3hr) and as soon as she ended her sentence the fire alarm went off XD!) 

anyways continuing on my main purpose for this post. My mom and I have a relationship like any other mother and daughter. She is like my friend, sister, and of course mother. But we do fight a lot. You see my mom is pretty patient <- however only on her good day. What I mean is if she is either Tired or Angry, she turns into a she-hulk.

Our fight mainly starts off with her getting ticked off at me about the littlest things, and I get pissed off right back because she got pissed off at me because of the littlest thing I did.
Example. I came back home today and said "WOW today is hot" <- EXACT TRANSLATION. My mom bitches at me, "then turn on the fan, don't expect me to turn it on for you". Truthfully saying I NEVER EVEN WANTED HER TO TURN ON THE FAN FOR ME. I was just stating the fact that today was hot -_-+.

My mom also gets pissed when she is in a state where she doesn't know how to handle. Example, yesterday morning I got a really bad ache on my abdomen while on my menstruation <- this happens to me at least twice a year, usually because I'm either overly stressed or tired. When I mean bad, I mean BAD. I get cold sweats, blackouts, stomachache. the stomachache feels like someone tied a knot with my organs and was pulling it. So while I'm moaning/screaming my mom gets pissed off and screams back at me to shut up. Conversation:
Mom: EAT THE MEDICINE!!!
ME: ..we ran out

Mom: WHAT? WHY DIDN'T YOU PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS!!
Me: IT'S NOT I GET THIS THING EVERY SINGLE TIME! IT JUST HAPPENED THAT I GOT THIS WHEN MY MEDICINE RAN OUT!!! HOW THE FUCK IS THIS MY FAULT?!!
Mom: URG SHUT UP! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING US IN FRONT OF OUR NEIGHBORS <- my mom always does this, like we started having a screaming fit and she says that my voice is the one which is embarrassing. As if my mom is not screaming at all. Figures.

So anyway she tells me to shut up and then she goes off looking for pain killers. And I'm just lying there in pain thinking, WHY COULDN'T SHE JUST GET THE PAIN KILLERS INSTEAD OF WASTING AT LEAST 30MIN SCREAMING AT ME??!

We also fight because of my brother. Example. My brother and I get in a fight, my mom gets mad at me ( doens't matter who started the fight) and tells me to shut up and act my age. I'm 20 <- how am I suppose to act my age? My mom then continues on saying that we have such a great age difference (7years) I should be ashamed of myself for fighting with him. When I visit my mom's side of the family my mom fights with her second younger brother (age diff: 9years) with the most weirdest things. Hypocrite. 

Fights also occur when I swear. Truthfully to say that's my fault. I am aware that I shouldn't swear at my mom but when I'm  pissed off... It's hard to keep track what I say. SO I would call my mom "bitch", "fucker", "dumb ass",etc. at her face <- god, I'm gonna go to hell for this. As my mom says "I NEVER SAID THOSE WORDS TO MY MOTHER! WHY AM I HEARING THESE WORDS FROM MY OWN DAUGHTER!!" I KNOW that I should think the same but I sometimes think "Well grandma had six kids to take care of, I don't think she had the luxury to bitch as much as you do".

Other times are usually cuz of me but.. hey I'm her child and children are meant to bring hell on their parents.

But I'm really trying to not get pissed off as easily as i was. Like I tell myself that i can have five strikes. why five? because that is the number where my mom stops bitching in a row. But if its past that, I talk back.

But I still really love my mom. I literally can't live without my mom. The longest I stayed away from my mom was for 2 months and I specifically remember that I cried on that first week because I missed her so much. I just need to try harder and take her bitching. I mean she won't live forever and more stress isn't good for her.. Damn, now I wish I can say that to her in person but I can't. My mom gets ticked off when I say these things because she feels embarrassed <- she's not used to this touchy-feely stuff.



Seriously guys, LOVE you're moms. Mother's Day is coming soon.